Rosemary!! Come to Your Senses!!

From the gazillions of moments comprising Rosemary’s childhood, she particularly remembers an incident occurring on her mother’s birthday. What is intriguing about Rosemary’s early memory are the many pleasing visual, kinesthetic, olfactory, auditory, and gustatory references throughout!

Rosemary recalls watching her mother put on make-up; including the same frosty blue eye shadow that Rosemary once wore for a dance recital (…an event during which Rosemary most certainly received special attention).

Rosemary also mentions the cool feel of her mother’s blue and green flowered bedspread on her skin...and recalls looking forward to eating birthday cake. For her, as for most children, the sight, smell, and taste of icing, accompanied by the opening of gifts, is la pièce de résistance!

When Rosemary’s father appears at the back door with a fancy cake covered in red roses, he tells Rosemary (speaking in hushed tones and perhaps leaning down to get close to her – very pleasing to a child!), “Don’t tell Mom . . . It’s a surprise.”

As luck would have it, however, just as Rosemary returns to the bedroom, she sees her mother applying color (like icing!) to her lips. Without realizing it, Rosemary becomes so swept up in the visual (and more) that she is unable to quell her excitement! As if in answer to the question: What will give me the greatest mileage in terms of getting attention (keeping the secret OR giving it up?), Rosemary gives it up!

“Before I can stop myself,” she writes, “I blurt out […the surprise].”

All in all, Rosemary’s attention is on attention. She not only attends to and enjoys her environment; she also seeks attention and pleasure for herself. Although we all seek attention and pleasure, children do so with the least amount of guile and sophistication; they just go for it! By blurting out her dad’s surprise, Rosemary gains momentary special importance for herself and also gets to enjoy that first look of genuine delight on her mother’s face – the look her father was hoping to score!

Rosemary then pays for her indiscretion when she has to witness the look of disappointment on her father’s face (…and, we might guess, has to listen to his reprimand or maybe hear him complain that she spoiled the surprise… perhaps in the guise of teasing).

As a result, Birthday Boomerang is Rosemary’s internal warning not to get so caught up in life that she loses control of her boundaries, her privacy, and her space. When that happens, “I know I am in big trouble.” She might as well be saying, “My senses get me in trouble,” so I’d better withdraw a bit, conserve my energy, and reduce intrusions and demands… lest I be found reckless.

In terms of the poll, “Men can’t be pleased” is the easiest choice to eliminate. As for “Trouble follows me,” the memory in its entirety does not support this choice either; otherwise Rosemary might have mentioned a mishap at the dance recital, for example. And finally, “Enthusiasm is dangerous” does not work…partially for the reason Jenny gives in the comments associated with another post entitled “I remember one time….” As Jenny points out, if “Enthusiasm is dangerous” were the best choice, it would actually have to read “Enthusiasm could be dangerous.”

But more to the point, what drives or feeds Rosemary’s enthusiasm? By reminding herself on a deep level that “My senses get me in trouble,” Rosemary attends to the careful management of sensory input, in the hope of avoiding any “big trouble.”

(For those who wish to review Rosemary's memory, entitled Birthday Boomerang, I am including it right below....)

Birthday Boomerang

It’s Mom’s birthday, August 12th. I am excited, because I will get to eat birthday cake!

I’m with Mom in her bedroom. She is putting on her makeup… bright blue frosty eye shadow, the same color she put on me for my dance recital in May. I lie on her bed and watch. The bedspread is in blues and greens with big flowers. It feels cool on my bare arms and legs.

I hear Daddy come in the back door. I get up and run to the kitchen. He has a white box in his hands that he places on the table. He opens up the box, and I peer inside…Mom’s birthday cake! Creamy white icing with big red roses and fancy writing.

He whispers, “Don’t tell Mom…. It’s a surprise.” I nod in agreement, but I’m not really listening.

I run to Mom’s bedroom, and she is putting on her lipstick. Before I can stop myself, I blurt out, “Daddy has a surprise for you! It’s a cake!” Daddy walks in as I am speaking – disappointment on his face, his brow furrowed. I know I am in big trouble.

~Rosemary
1999

What is Rosemary's worldview?

1. My senses get me in trouble.

2. Men can't be pleased.

3. Enthusiasm in dangerous.

4. Trouble follows me.