A careful reading of Rosemary’s two early memories (Birthday Boomerang and The Ride) tells us, among other things, that Rosemary wants to make sure, in present time, to avoid fearful and suffocating experiences and feeling of emptiness. By recalling on a deep level that my senses get me in trouble, Rosemary reminds herself what happens when she becomes overly excited and carried away (literally!).
Let’s take a closer look at “The Ride.”
In “The Ride,” we find Rosemary visually attracted to pretty rocks in her parents’ driveway. It’s no accident that Rosemary is drawn to a pink rock “to keep for Pawpaw” – pink representing the female gender – as she prepares herself to be presented to her father’s father. And once again, Daddy is central to the action.
Recall that in Birthday Boomerang, it is Daddy who brings home a lavish cake to surprise his wife on her birthday. To be sure, when Daddy’s around, excitement happens! Rosemary can hear it, smell it, and feel it, and today, she and Daddy are about to embark on a thrilling ride to Pawpaw’s house.
Everything about the experience is stimulating…the roar of the three-wheeler engine, the smell of the exhaust, the presence of her father, the strength of his grip as he places her up on the bike and then holds her tight for the trip to Pawpaw’s house, and the anticipation of giving Pawpaw his present: “herself,” and a pretty pink rock. Even with wind stinging her eyes, Rosemary notes only the remedy. “…so I keep [my eyes] closed,” she writes. In effect, the wind may be strong, but it’s nothing compared to the thrill I feel when riding safe in Daddy’s arms.
And with eyes closed (literally and figuratively), Rosemary focuses on the excitement of the adventure…until suddenly everything changes.
The road turns treacherous. Gravel, once considered pretty, now becomes a perilous surface under a speeding three-wheeler. Rosemary hears and feels the crunch of the rocks as she is turned upside down and finds herself lost in darkness. Now that previously exhilarating engine feels much too close and suffocating – probably holding Rosemary confined against the road. Daddy has disappeared, and along with him…the illusion of safety…and Rosemary's freedom.
Wow – what a big and powerful reminder to pay better attention, to observe before jumping in, to think and figure things out before saying yes, and to set limits and maintain privacy!
And if she doesn’t? Well, then it is Rosemary on the rocks…feeling inadequate and unprotected from situations and circumstances that somehow become too close and suffocating. Perhaps it’s better to observe more closely, calm down the excitement, and approach life from a detached point of view? Or is it?
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7 comments:
I like the paying better attention,think and figure things out before saying yes,setting limits and maintaining privacy, BUT to approach life from a detached point of view seems almost lifeless to me. Perhaps I could be reading this wrong??
"Lifeless?"... to you maybe...but then again, it all depend's on one's worldview.
I wouldn't say you are reading it wrong....just evaluating the meaning from a "different seat in the room."
I have appreciated reading all the comments about my writings. I'm impressed with the guesses some of you have made about my current interests and profession on the sole basis of two early memories! So I don't "keep you in suspense," my primary occupation is in the field of mental health, but I also have many interests and "other occupations" that involve the senses - cooking, baking, & painting.
I also must say that Candis was very accurate in describing how I tend to handle new things in my life. I do tend to hang back and observe, taking in as much as possible before making a decision. This has served me well in many situations. However, I can suprise myself with a spontaneous move now and again!
I know someone who approaches life from a detached point of view and does not consider it lifeless...
:)
Perhaps she should grab onto something and take a chance on getting her hands (or feet?) dirty?
Seriously, though I think it is both a curse and a blessing, I really do think detachment comes in handy in allowing a person to observe and ponder.
I still do say that if Rosemary was not aware of her worldview being that her sense get her into trouble, she might avoid some things that would be fun and worthwhile simply because she acting according to her belief that the sense can get you into trouble.
But with awareness of the tendency, she might choose at times to override her belief that her senses were going to get her into trouble, and she would no doubt, live a fuller life as a result.
I think we all have our Achilles heels that are areas where we need to go against our normal tendencies and stretch ourselves.
There are typos galore in my comment. Hopefully my intended meaning still is clear...
annie...
At the risk of...
well...pointing out the obvious
...read your 5:29 P.M. comment and see if you might really be talking to ...you know who??...(you!)
Rosemary, didn't realize that you had given a response to your profession, hobbies and interest. Thank you!!!
And I sure enjoyed your writings.
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