If I Think It, I Say It!

Although Simon Cowell, Roseanne Bar, Don Rickles, and Joan Rivers are all outspoken and totally opinionated, only one owns the comments on the previous Thinkwriter post entitled “Out of the Mouths of Babes.” That distinction belongs to the so-called “meanest judge” on American’s most popular singing talent show, American Idol, which has recently completing its 7th successful season.

American Idol judge Simon Cowell says about himself: “From an early age, I was very, very bad.”

Confirming Cowell’s negative self-appraisal are family members who declare that Cowell refused to be disciplined, had an opinion on everything, and never did what he was told. According to his mother, Cowell was “a horrendous child, worse than all my other sons” (perhaps because he despised her cooking and said so on numerous occasions!).

In I Hate to Be Rude, but…: Simon Cowell’s Book of Nasty Comments, by Tony Cowell and Michael Winner, the authors claim that when Simon Cowell was a child, “Everything had to revolve around him. He set the loft on fire, cut off his younger brother’s hair, built his own pub in the garden shed, and steadfastly refused to go to school.”

No big deal, you say? Well, depending on the rules in your family of origin, Cowell’s behavior may or may not seem all that terrible! But are his childhood remarks “nasty,” as the authors claim?

What follows is proof, according to the authors, that Cowell began his “meanness” when he was just a kid. As you review their evidence, keep in mind they have a book title to prove!

Age 4: When asked whether he liked his mum’s new fur hat, Cowell replied, “Mum, you look like a poodle.”

Age 5: To his music teacher during a lesson: “Miss, this noise is dreadful. Why are you making us do it?”

Age 5: On meeting Liz Taylor, who lived next door: “Who’s the girl with the big tits and all the diamonds?”

Age 6: To actor Trevor Howard, at a family party: “I don’t like actors.”

Age 7: To his younger brother Nicholas: “Father Christmas isn’t real, and the sooner you come to terms with it, the better.”

Age 12: In his first letter home to his parents from boarding school: Dear Mum and Dad, I hope you are finally glad to get rid of me and you are happy in your centrally heated house, because I’m in a freezing cold dormitory with nothing to eat.”

Age 13: In a letter to his parents from school: I have a sneaking suspicion that Newton’s theory isn’t going to play a huge part in my future.”

Could it be that Simon Cowell’s remarks are simply straightforward and completely legitimate, supporting his reported (and observed) attitude that…“If you think it, say it?”

Of interest is that Simon Cowell’s father, Eric Cowell, was an estate agent developer and music industry executive. At one point, Cowell senior secured a job for his son in the mail room… after his son had dropped out of school and also performed poorly in the workplace (due to his apparent inability to get along with bosses and co-workers!).

Cowell and his father no doubt endured numerous power struggles during those years. It is likely that the young Cowell also witnessed his father’s fawning manner with employees, customers, and temperamental clients in his efforts to earn a good living. Perhaps his son vowed that when he was a grown-up, he would never flatter anyone! We can only imagine the sucking-up that was expected in his father's industry at that time (and maybe always!).

Whatever the case may be, when a young person is quickly able to see (and name) what adults would rather ignore or minimize (“Father Christmas isn’t real, and the sooner you come to terms with it, the better.”), a power struggle inevitably ensues. Adults learn to bow to social propriety, but a young person like Simon Cowell speaks out with abandon (“If I think it, I say it!”), regardless the cost.

And by speaking out for so many years and promoting his so-called right opinions, and thereby convincing others he was right (albeit aggravating), Cowell continued to gain greater and greater confidence in his skills of observation, including his ability to quickly know what is or isn’t quality… or real… or believable…or whatever!

Thus, for Cowell and for those with show business acumen, qualifying a performance as excellent, or even good, when it isn’t, is aggravating. False praise also sends several underlying messages, including: (1) mediocrity is the best we can hope for; (2) you can’t do better; and (3) we don’t think you can handle the truth. None of these messages is encouraging, but to Cowell, not the point at all! He has said, “I hate political correctness,” and no doubt his behavior is a testimony to that pronouncement.

And apparently, Idol performers count on him not to be politically correct, but to do what he does best: identify what is and isn't "best." If you doubt it, observe the actual singers as they receive the three judges’ evaluations following their performances.

Contestants appear to listen, with glazed eyes, to the first two judges' opinions, smiling politely, as if to say, “Okay, are we through here?” Following that, each one looks toward Simon Cowell for the real story.

At that point, observant viewers are able to witness the visible shift in each contestant's body language. Eyes widen and shoulders become tense as one performer at a time anxiously and intently listens for Cowell’s statement of worth. Everyone, including the naysayers, knows his opinion is the one. In fact, the evidence of Cowell’s accuracy is paradoxically proven by the behavior of the live audience. Audience members - so sure that he is right - often prohibit Cowell from commenting by booing and yelling when he tries to speak.

In the end, Cowell’s ability to recognize and to articulate what is right or wrong with a particular performance inspires hope in the contestants and makes the selection process authentic. His so-called nastiness hits a chord with viewers, capturing the collective truth we all see, yet ironically are powerless in our own lives (all too often) to say to those around us.

And for the record, chances are his mother did look like a poodle in the new hat; the music was awful (and maybe the teacher not so talented); Liz Taylor did emphasize her buxom figure and wear a load of diamonds; Trevor Howard did look unfriendly (as his scowling picture demonstrates on the previous post – perhaps suggesting to the young Cowell that all actors are unlikable); learning about the fantasy of Father Christmas is upsetting to children; college will never be as cushy as home life; and we’ve all cried fowl about having to jump through a few ridiculous hoops for the privilege of calling ourselves educated!

One quickly gets the idea that even as a child, Simon Cowell was clear he alone knew what was best!