In an engaging recollection labeled “bat-out-of-hell,” we find Carrie Ann keenly focusing on her mother.
As the scenario unfolds, Carrie Ann reveals that she and her father (Bill) are competing for the mother’s attention. Because of this competition, we recognize that "Mother" has all the power.
When the mother, in effect, "chooses" Carrie Ann over husband Bill by dismissing Bill from the room, Carrie Ann gives her dad a “smug little smile,” thereby bringing to light the joy she feels in winning the competition with Dad for her mother's attention.
“He stands up straight, looks at me and shrugs his shoulders, but he does leave. I give him a smug little smile as he walks to the door.”
Carrie Ann’s worldview also is made evident when we observe Carrie Ann's vertical movements relative to the mother's position. In the beginning of the recollection, Carrie Ann is “sitting on the bed.” She has placed herself in her mother’s personal space, an “up position.” When admonished by her mother to get off the bed, Carrie Ann obeys and finds herself in a “down position.”
“Carrie Ann, get off the bed…you’re messing it up!”
However, after the mother dismisses husband Bill from the room, she turns to Carrie Ann for help, thus inviting (or ordering) Carrie Ann back up on the bed...the "up position."
“Carrie, would you hook these pearls for me?”
Immediately, Carrie Ann “leaps from the floor to the bed,” standing now as tall as her mother to fasten the pearls. Her mother validates Carrie Ann’s authority by calling her a "bat-out-of-hell," sounding to Carrie Ann like the best compliment she's ever heard...even causing Carrie Ann to feel "courageous."
At last, if only for a brief moment, Carrie Ann senses that she is as powerful as her mother, the parent who no doubt wins most of the contests in their household. A full history would likely reveal that the mother is the true bat-out-of-hell in Carrie Ann’s childhood.
Thus, only by winning...I have to win... will Carrie Ann be assured a safer, one-up position in her home (and life) – to be powerful (and respected) like the mother (not “the man,” like dad, who gets dismissed from the room; or simply “courageous,” because it’s about more than just courage; or focused on “women ruling,” because in Carrie Ann’s memory/life, only one woman - her mother - is the ruler).
So…how did you do? Did you choose the best answer? While all the answers have merit, only I have to win says it all. Please share your comments and questions with me and stay tuned for a new early recollection coming soon! Maybe yours?
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5 comments:
The choice is pretty clear when spelled out that way. I suppose one benefit of participating live in Thinkwriting is that you not only learn to do the writing but you also learn how to listen and hear the details that help you decipher the meaning behind the memories.
And it is not only the memory itself that tells you something, but also the specific details of what you focus on in the memory?
Very perceptive Annie. I would imagine that listening would be just as important as the writing. You could be so close to the memory (and after all it's just one tiny memory) that you cannot see nor hear all the details that make it so important. In other words, others hear what you cannot
Yes Annie...knowing how to listen for the "gold" in the memory is key to recognizing the owner's worldview. Even an obtuse detail carries meaning when we know how to see it.
Thank you anonymous! "Others hear what you cannot"....is so true!
Just stopping in today on Annie's link.... howdy!
in an earlier post, I love this: "Awareness is learning to keep yourself company. And then learn to be more compassionate company, as if you were somebody you are fond of and wish to encourage."
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