Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Give me some sugar, Daddy.

First of all, to all the voters out there…THANK YOU for participating!

Let's see how you did....

Keep in mind that a person’s “worldview” is his or her distinctive attitude toward all the experiences of life. If you want to recognize your own or someone else’s worldview, figure out the logic of the person's earliest recollection(s) and the worldview will emerge.
(So cool!)

Take Madeline, for example. She reveals her worldview in a memory entitled “Daddy’s Money.” Once we understand Madeline’s memory, the correct answer is easy to see…so let’s get started.

Children instinctively know what they need, but they make mistakes in getting their needs met. Rudolf Dreikurs, a student of Alfred Adler, labeled the ill-conceived attempts of young children attempting to get their needs met, but going about it the wrong way, as “mistaken goals.” “Daddy’s Money” is an excellent example of this concept.

What Madeline wants is to be nurtured. Daddy leaves his change on the dresser for all to see. Mother hides the cookies and crackers in the kitchen and is herself apparently not available to reveal the hiding place. Madeline nurtures herself by accessing Daddy’s resources to provide for her needs after school. Thus Madeline will be able to get it right…to do what her parents are not doing…what she needs to have done. By taking Daddy’s money, Madeline nourishes her own "appetite" on the way home from school, thereby nurturing herself.

And yes, she uses her masculine side to take the money – demonstrating a deep belief in the value of her own life…
"
Just having Daddy’s money makes me feel better," she says.

Another way to arrive at the best answer is through the process of elimination. By paying careful attention to a couple of Madeline’s key sentences, we can eliminate both #2 (I get what I want) and #4 (I am in charge).

When Madeline says
"Inside I feel bad. I love Daddy and taking some of his change is wrong, but I do it anyway," we recognize that stealing to get what she wants is not something Madeline feels good about. As for #4 (I am in charge), the words I better get out of here and I hide the change in my bedroom
are not representative of a person in charge. Besides, if Madeline were really in charge, she could ask (tell or order) her mother to give her snacks.

As for the third incorrect choice…(I am a sneaky person), “sneaky” describes Madeline’s behavior…only. Worldview is scripted on a much larger canvas. In “Daddy’s Money," Madeline’s "sneaky behavior" demonstrates the lengths to which she
will go to
make things right.

So, there you have it. Although there is much more to Madeline’s recollection than what is detailed here, “Daddy’s Money” reveals a worldview that says I have to get it right.

If you were to meet Madeline today, you would find her focused on getting things right and avoiding mistakes, in addition to being self-reliant, industrious, and highly responsible. Imagine that!

10 comments:

Captainwow said...

veddy eeeenteddesting....

hm. This is an approach I am not familiar with at all. It makes sense of course. We (I?)usually try to figure out our worldview through a kaleidoscope of life experiences, culminating in how we see the world today. I never thought of looking at a specific memory to arrive there.

So, hypothetically, if I pondered an early memory (with help, of course)it would tell me my worldview. And then, I could see things I do now through a different lense and possibly make healthier choices? Grow, perhaps?

Anonymous said...

Ah, yes, the old "substitute money, food etc. for love" trick!

But I still don't get the connection with "I have to get it right" even after the explanation. Would it be more recognizable if the world view were "I have to take care of myself?" Why wouldn't that work, Candis?

annie said...

Well, I got it wrong, but then I wandered around and almost figured out that she was not getting something she needed from the people around her.

One thing I wonder about is how many different worldviews are there? And do we sometimes have more than one?

And wasn't Adler the one who did experiments on a child (children) from an orphanage--something about how he reacted to something that was scary to him?

Anonymous said...

Annie, I thought the same thing. More than one worldview and even more so, your worldview changing over time. Say your worldview at 20 changing from your worldview at 50. Would seem only logical don't you think?

Anonymous said...

And just for the record, I voted wrong also

UptownGirl said...

I got it wrong :-(

Maybe better luck next time??

Candis said...

Captainwow:
WORLDVIEW, in the way I am using it, refers to how a person will think, feel, and act in any given situation (rather than something that is acquired based on experiences). It is a fingerprint, a predetermined optic view – a piece of DNA. It is not something I encounter, but something I take with me…no matter where I go.

And I love the second part of your comment also - so well said!

nienna:
Welcome to Thinkwriter and thanks for commenting! Your comment really makes me want to explain more about this - in time.

Although "I have to take care of myself" seems sensible enough, it doesn’t accurately nail Madeline's worldview. Truth is...we all have to take care of ourselves, but for Madeline, as demonstrated by her recollection, it has to be right. Do you see anything in “Daddy’s Money” that suggests her attention to detail and also to her awareness that things are not right?

Annie and Jenny:
A person has one worldview - Now and Forever, Amen. Your worldview at age 5 is still your worldview at age 55. Stay tuned for more about worldview in the days to come.

Uptowngirl:
Hey – when you participate, you’re always right! Thanks for voting!

annie said...

Candis, on whose authority do you say a person has only one worldview, and it is a part of their DNA? Is this something you have studied and proven, or is it a theory that you are testing out?

I do believe it is possible that something like a worldview is wired into us, but I have trouble believing it is something that can be pegged in a statement of such few words as the examples you have used for us to vote on.

Can a worldview be a negative statement, such as something like "I am not good enough?"

And if it is like a fingerprint, then there must be very many worldviews?

These are a few of the questions I'd like to see answered in future blog posts. I am very curious by nature and it seems one of the main ways I learn about things like this is to ask questions that sound like I have taken an adversarial stance to what you are saying. I don't mean to sound that way, and hope you will understand the spirit in which I am asking the questions.

If nailing down my own worldview would be as helpful as you claim, then I would love to know with certainty my worldview.

Candis said...

Annie – I enjoy your skepticism, so thank you for your questions.

Take a breath and relax – "Thinkwriter" (the blog) has just begun (November 6, 2007). Please consider that its audience varies widely… from those who are professionals - like I am - to those who are new to the concepts (and everything in between).

"Thinkwriter" is also useful for those doing personal work…..and all are welcome. As many know, this blog is an extension of “Thinkwriting” (see more about Thinkwriting at www.thinkwriting.com and www.candiscarr.com ).

Suffice it to say, I have a passion for sharing my deep knowledge and validated expertise in this area with others – including those who are curious (as you are) and those who want to become more mindful…and again, everything in between!

I hope you will find the answers to all your questions in time - so please, stay tuned:-)!

annie said...

I just want to see the big picture. I've been doing this (or trying to do this!) since May and I am curious as to how Thinkwriting came about. I've certainly enjoyed it, but there are still so many things I do not understand about how it works that I still want to know. Now I guess I will have to be patient, and take a breath and relax!