Rosemary on the Rocks

A careful reading of Rosemary’s two early memories (Birthday Boomerang and The Ride) tells us, among other things, that Rosemary wants to make sure, in present time, to avoid fearful and suffocating experiences and feeling of emptiness. By recalling on a deep level that my senses get me in trouble, Rosemary reminds herself what happens when she becomes overly excited and carried away (literally!).

Let’s take a closer look at “The Ride.”

In “The Ride,” we find Rosemary visually attracted to pretty rocks in her parents’ driveway. It’s no accident that Rosemary is drawn to a pink rock “to keep for Pawpaw” – pink representing the female gender – as she prepares herself to be presented to her father’s father. And once again, Daddy is central to the action.

Recall that in Birthday Boomerang, it is Daddy who brings home a lavish cake to surprise his wife on her birthday. To be sure, when Daddy’s around, excitement happens! Rosemary can hear it, smell it, and feel it, and today, she and Daddy are about to embark on a thrilling ride to Pawpaw’s house.

Everything about the experience is stimulating…the roar of the three-wheeler engine, the smell of the exhaust, the presence of her father, the strength of his grip as he places her up on the bike and then holds her tight for the trip to Pawpaw’s house, and the anticipation of giving Pawpaw his present: “herself,” and a pretty pink rock. Even with wind stinging her eyes, Rosemary notes only the remedy. “…so I keep [my eyes] closed,” she writes. In effect, the wind may be strong, but it’s nothing compared to the thrill I feel when riding safe in Daddy’s arms.

And with eyes closed (literally and figuratively), Rosemary focuses on the excitement of the adventure…until suddenly everything changes.

The road turns treacherous. Gravel, once considered pretty, now becomes a perilous surface under a speeding three-wheeler. Rosemary hears and feels the crunch of the rocks as she is turned upside down and finds herself lost in darkness. Now that previously exhilarating engine feels much too close and suffocating – probably holding Rosemary confined against the road. Daddy has disappeared, and along with him…the illusion of safety…and Rosemary's freedom.

Wow – what a big and powerful reminder to pay better attention, to observe before jumping in, to think and figure things out before saying yes, and to set limits and maintain privacy!

And if she doesn’t? Well, then it is Rosemary on the rocks…feeling inadequate and unprotected from situations and circumstances that somehow become too close and suffocating. Perhaps it’s better to observe more closely, calm down the excitement, and approach life from a detached point of view? Or is it?

Rock On... Rosemary!

Check out a second early memory written by Rosemary. In the poll to the right, select her worldview. (note - the poll has now been taken down...readers voted and the results are right here)

#1 - My senses get me in trouble (66%)

#2 - Men can't be trusted. (0%)

#3 - Enthusiasm is dangerous (22%)

#4 - Trouble follows me (11%)

Read "Rosemary on the Rocks" to learn the correct answer.

The Ride

“The pink one is pretty,” I think to myself. “I’ll keep this one for Pawpaw.”

Daddy is taking me on his three-wheeler to see Pawpaw, and I am gathering small rocks from our gravel driveway, picking out the ones I like the most.

I hear the roar of the three-wheeler engine, and I feel excited. I smell the exhaust from the engine – it smells like Daddy when he comes in from working on the farm.

Daddy scoops me up and sits me on the bike in front of him, holding me tight. I am five years old. We speed down the highway, onto the gravel road toward Pawpaw’s house. We are going fast, and the wind is hard on my face. The wind stings my eyes, so I keep them closed.

Then I hear gravel crunch under the wheels of the bike. I am falling. I can’t feel Daddy’s arms around me anymore. It’s hot and dark, and the smell of the engine is close and very strong.

“Daddy, where are you?” I am scared.

Rosemary!! Come to Your Senses!!

From the gazillions of moments comprising Rosemary’s childhood, she particularly remembers an incident occurring on her mother’s birthday. What is intriguing about Rosemary’s early memory are the many pleasing visual, kinesthetic, olfactory, auditory, and gustatory references throughout!

Rosemary recalls watching her mother put on make-up; including the same frosty blue eye shadow that Rosemary once wore for a dance recital (…an event during which Rosemary most certainly received special attention).

Rosemary also mentions the cool feel of her mother’s blue and green flowered bedspread on her skin...and recalls looking forward to eating birthday cake. For her, as for most children, the sight, smell, and taste of icing, accompanied by the opening of gifts, is la pièce de résistance!

When Rosemary’s father appears at the back door with a fancy cake covered in red roses, he tells Rosemary (speaking in hushed tones and perhaps leaning down to get close to her – very pleasing to a child!), “Don’t tell Mom . . . It’s a surprise.”

As luck would have it, however, just as Rosemary returns to the bedroom, she sees her mother applying color (like icing!) to her lips. Without realizing it, Rosemary becomes so swept up in the visual (and more) that she is unable to quell her excitement! As if in answer to the question: What will give me the greatest mileage in terms of getting attention (keeping the secret OR giving it up?), Rosemary gives it up!

“Before I can stop myself,” she writes, “I blurt out […the surprise].”

All in all, Rosemary’s attention is on attention. She not only attends to and enjoys her environment; she also seeks attention and pleasure for herself. Although we all seek attention and pleasure, children do so with the least amount of guile and sophistication; they just go for it! By blurting out her dad’s surprise, Rosemary gains momentary special importance for herself and also gets to enjoy that first look of genuine delight on her mother’s face – the look her father was hoping to score!

Rosemary then pays for her indiscretion when she has to witness the look of disappointment on her father’s face (…and, we might guess, has to listen to his reprimand or maybe hear him complain that she spoiled the surprise… perhaps in the guise of teasing).

As a result, Birthday Boomerang is Rosemary’s internal warning not to get so caught up in life that she loses control of her boundaries, her privacy, and her space. When that happens, “I know I am in big trouble.” She might as well be saying, “My senses get me in trouble,” so I’d better withdraw a bit, conserve my energy, and reduce intrusions and demands… lest I be found reckless.

In terms of the poll, “Men can’t be pleased” is the easiest choice to eliminate. As for “Trouble follows me,” the memory in its entirety does not support this choice either; otherwise Rosemary might have mentioned a mishap at the dance recital, for example. And finally, “Enthusiasm is dangerous” does not work…partially for the reason Jenny gives in the comments associated with another post entitled “I remember one time….” As Jenny points out, if “Enthusiasm is dangerous” were the best choice, it would actually have to read “Enthusiasm could be dangerous.”

But more to the point, what drives or feeds Rosemary’s enthusiasm? By reminding herself on a deep level that “My senses get me in trouble,” Rosemary attends to the careful management of sensory input, in the hope of avoiding any “big trouble.”

(For those who wish to review Rosemary's memory, entitled Birthday Boomerang, I am including it right below....)

Birthday Boomerang

It’s Mom’s birthday, August 12th. I am excited, because I will get to eat birthday cake!

I’m with Mom in her bedroom. She is putting on her makeup… bright blue frosty eye shadow, the same color she put on me for my dance recital in May. I lie on her bed and watch. The bedspread is in blues and greens with big flowers. It feels cool on my bare arms and legs.

I hear Daddy come in the back door. I get up and run to the kitchen. He has a white box in his hands that he places on the table. He opens up the box, and I peer inside…Mom’s birthday cake! Creamy white icing with big red roses and fancy writing.

He whispers, “Don’t tell Mom…. It’s a surprise.” I nod in agreement, but I’m not really listening.

I run to Mom’s bedroom, and she is putting on her lipstick. Before I can stop myself, I blurt out, “Daddy has a surprise for you! It’s a cake!” Daddy walks in as I am speaking – disappointment on his face, his brow furrowed. I know I am in big trouble.

~Rosemary
1999

What is Rosemary's worldview?

1. My senses get me in trouble.

2. Men can't be pleased.

3. Enthusiasm in dangerous.

4. Trouble follows me.

Making Sense(s) of It All!

Okay - here's the deal. In one of the polls to the right, entitled "I am excited because I will get to eat birthday cake," I ask readers of Thinkwriter to name which of 4 senses Rosemary uses most often to experience her world, based on her earliest memory.

In the reprint of Rosemary's memory below, please note (in parentheses) the names of the senses she does use. Also added is the fifth sense (gustatory), even though it was not a part of the poll. By counting the times each of five senses is used, we can clearly "see" that Rosemary visually experiences her world....at least primarily, with kinesthetic falling close behind.

Check it out.

However, also note that "how" Rosemary experiences her world is NOT her worldview. It is not her her point of perspective, her "knowing fingerprint," her predeterminded optic view, if you will. No, "how" she experiences her world is not her "come from."
So, let's take our time and look at what might be her worldview. A new poll to the right asks you to name what you believe Rosemary's worldview to be (note: the poll has now been taken down - but read the post on 12/28/07 to learn more). Remember it is her knowing fingerprint, the point of reference indelible on everything she experiences, creates, touches, or also encounters...and more. Wow!

Birthday Boomerang

by Rosemary

It’s Mom’s birthday, August 12th. I am excited (kinesthetic), because I will get to eat birthday cake (gustatory/olfactory)!

I’m with Mom in her bedroom. She is putting on her makeup (visual)… bright blue frosty eye shadow (visual), the same color she put on me for my dance recital in May ("visualizing"). I lie on her bed (kinesthetic) and watch (visual). The bedspread is in blues and greens with big flowers (visual). It feels cool on my bare arms and legs (kinesthetic).

I hear Daddy come in the back door (auditory). I get up and run to the kitchen (kinesthetic). He has a white box in his hands (visual) that he places on the table (visual). He opens up the box (visual), and I peer inside (visual/kinesthetic)…Mom’s birthday cake! Creamy white icing with big red roses and fancy writing (visual).

He whispers, “Don’t tell Mom…. It’s a surprise.” (auditory) I nod in agreement (kinesthetic), but I’m not really listening.

I run to Mom’s bedroom (kinesthetic), and she is putting on her lipstick (visual). Before I can stop myself, I blurt out (kinesthetic), “Daddy has a surprise for you! It’s a cake!” Daddy walks in (visual) as I am speaking – disappointment on his face (visual), his brow furrowed (visual) I know (kinesthetic) I am in big trouble.

Birthday Boomerang!

It’s Mom’s birthday... August 12th. I am excited, because I will get to eat birthday cake!

I’m with Mom in her bedroom. She is putting on her makeup… bright blue frosty eye shadow, the same color she put on me for my dance recital in May. I lie on her bed and watch. The bedspread is in blues and greens with big flowers. It feels cool on my bare arms and legs.

I hear Daddy come in the back door. I get up and run to the kitchen. He has a white box in his hands that he places on the table. He opens up the box, and I peer inside…Mom’s birthday cake! Creamy white icing with big red roses and fancy writing.

He whispers, “Don’t tell Mom…. It’s a surprise.” I nod in agreement, but I’m not really listening.

I run to Mom’s bedroom, and she is putting on her lipstick. Before I can stop myself, I blurt out, “Daddy has a surprise for you! It’s a cake!” Daddy walks in as I am speaking – disappointment on his face, his brow furrowed. I know I am in big trouble.

~Rosemary
1999

All of us experience the “out there” world by way of our senses. Now that you have read Rosemary’s earliest recollection, which of the following is the primary way Rosemary experiences her world?
1. Visual
2. Kinesthetic
3. Olfactory
4. Auditory
Please record your choice in the poll to the right…and stay tuned for more about Rosemary coming soon. Thank you for participating!

FOLLOW-UP NOTE...Readers voted and 66% got it right - (the most used sense was VISUAL).